Its Official. I'm No Zebra.

Color me converted.
I used to think I knew what it was like to officiate a football game.
Like alot of people, I yelled at the TV and disagreed with calls on the air and off.
I have pointed out missed calls on obvious fouls and lamented what I thought were wrong calls on turnovers and catches along the sidelines.
No more.
I spent several Wednesday nights at the Douglas County Football Officials Association meetings leading up to the start of the high school football season.
It wasn't my idea. I think I must have gotten too friendly with Bruce Pettengill, whose expertise in correct officiating has driven me crazy while watching (and yelling) at Seahawk games.
Bruce is an official in Douglas County and suggested that maybe I take a turn in the stripes. Not only was this a good idea, but Bruce was also the kind of guy that could make it happen.
So, after hours of training and several seconds of carefully studying several manuals and booklets, I took the field at the South Umpqua football scrimmage.
In the parking lot before the practice game at Loghry Field I was as nervous as I can remember. It seemed like I couldn't remember the most basic rules of the game.
In otherwords, I knew eactly how those officials feel all the time.
(Just kidding. See, THATs the kind of comment that put me in this position to start with!)
Bruce gently guided me through a thousand goofy scenarios to talk me down from panic and we took the field with a bunch of helpful officials.
I got to blow my whistle and run around, spotting the ball and learning the technical aspects of the job. I even threw a flag, but I can't remember what for.
I was the line judge, then the back judge (much better) and just missed moving up to Umpire. The Ump crouches behind the linebackers and watches for holds in the middle of the line of scrimmage. That position requires agility and confidence, because several large, grunting players are literally fighting all around you.
The tight end on a drag route runs right through the area where the Umpire works.
Well, lucky for me, I never made it to the Umpire position because the scrimmage ended.
Later I learned Coach Hubbard and the Lancers had it in for me.
Once I moved to that spot, the coach was going to call for a tight end drag with the intent of making me either recognize what was happening and move out of the way - or (more likely) not see it coming and get introduced to football without pads.
Another ploy was to call a running play up the middle - another chance for the new guy to absorb some bodily harm.
In the end, I was unscathed.
And very happy with my performance.
Not a single person yelled at me.
That I know of.
Anyway, there is alot to see and react to as an official and I came away from my brush with death with a much better appreciation for the art of officiating.
Thanks, Bruce. Now go make the call.